you'll forever see me cry

Mother's account book (2)   
4,The respect that the foreign currency manages money matters, there are two thinkings, can consider changing into RMB and making the investment, because RMB are appreciating to U.S. dollar continuously at present, and there are more and better investment channel and convenience; Can continue foreign currency of investment bank cut the property product too, compare more in time limit of investment and income while choosing the products, in addition China-invested Bank different from products of foreign capitals bank is worth studying too. 
5,The respect of investment in fixed assets, with the child's growth, the space needed is improved progressively, considering adding a room and living in reason too for the grandmother, the baby is still very small at present, there is one to always surpass a treasure in the family, what is it is believed that three generations furthermore helps to promote children to grow up healthy and sound with the hall with good attachment to the family is formed. Propose Mr. Zhu considers purchasing the bridal chamber to mother in front and at the back of the baby enters the garden, in this way the old man can look after your life and child, can have one's own time and life circle progressively. If old man intend, seek one come companion always, compose sunset together to be kind. 
6,Purchase car plan, China in one survive, need, enjoy, change, consume era that upgrade while being such a to fashion now, the taste of promoting the family life if condition permitting is a move luring the person very much. Based on Mr. Zhu's present state, propose considering the economy car less than 100,000, can consider some mortgage, will increase so in expenditure of every month by nearly 2000 yuan. 
2.When Ms. Yang is pregnant, are facing graduate student's graduating, and the husband is planning to read doctors. Because Ms. Yang insists on growing the child, the life connected becomes very difficult. Because eager to look for a job obtains incomes, Ms. Yang has not more chosen after graduating, having just entered a research institute to do to a assistant, the monthly income is only 2000 yuan, add the subsidy of meagre doctor of the husband, the annual income of the whole family is less than 50,000 yuan. After the work, Ms. Yang and husband have recommended receiving the jobs of some translation materials through the friend, under their great efforts, can roughly increase the income of 15,000 yuan every year. 
After the child was born in, Ms. Yang and husband bought a set of of one living room and one sitting room second-hand houses. In order to reduce the loan interest paying the bank as much as possible, husband and wife have only borrowed 200,000 yuan, other all has done down payment. In the down payment, except own fund of 50,000 yuan, the others were all borrowed at relatives and friends' place. So besides loan monthly mortgage of 1000 yuan of the room, and the debt of 300,000 yuan now. 
Ms. Yang's son just reached the age of 2 this year, it was about 600 yuan that monthly expenses were all controlled. Ms. Yang for save expenses insist oneself bring child, try hard, replace, import urine to be wet with traditional diaper. Ms. Yang considers family's economic situation has been nervous up till now, have not still bought the insurance for children, there is no investment of other respects in the family, there is only small spare deposit of about 10,000 yuan. 
Family annual income 60,000 family deposit 10,000 real estate house produce one in debt room loan 1000 yuan every month since, the debt annual total expenditure of family of 300,000 yuan is 3. Subsidize children's expenditure of 8000 yuan financial situation to analyze at 20,000 yuan: Job prospect: Two people have a higher education background, but create income at present ability is general, can expect in the future; Family's annual income: 60,000; Fixed year expenditure: 3.20,000 yuan; The family deposits money: 10,000 yuan is current; The family in debt: The loan of room of 200,000 yuan, 1000 yuan per month, the borrowed money of 300,000 yuan; Family's responsibility: For the husband to raise the child and grow up after reading the doctor; Family's goal: Increase incomes, pay one's debt off; The financing is proposed: Ms. Yang's family is in three-year difficult period now, the economic situation is severe, it will be the financing tactics for some time of future to increase income and economize on spendin

At newly-married night, she says frankly to really growing: "The concubine the reason why well happy people person, only if can't be sweet and deserted and lonely, sincere with the body of the boudoir pavilion, cancel the column in if ó`'s right social intercourse, the ears can't beared   "She has never got "  The family " Warmth,No get "people " Identity,show loving care for let then this go longing for she. Du Li's mother's surprise dream seeks dreams, is the youthful awakening, but have no her that depended on in falling low, even youthful grief is too luxurious. She reality, too vulgar too perhaps, come from, collude humble woman of fence, how can decide own destiny, she make can do most heavy to resist, on her, it is not without glare dignity, glory of the human nature of personality already. 
Novel woman protagonist of " like enemy admiring color receive officer punishment yellow to shine " all end of Ming Dynasty, have several poem write one's own mind experience, one of them such: 
Fasten and hold the fragrant cloud and study Dai Hua, not from now on the old kasaya. 
Would rather speak the well mortar and support sweet purport, divide and cut and connect with one and abandon law China. 
Exceed constellation know mandarin duck warm, spread, make up, call phoenix to be hairpin luxurious very at once. 
Meditative mind robber oily for desire for love, woman grow and wish, have house. 
Can perch for cloud cloud sleep 2 people act as, marry. 
Say two young woman, don't forget the past suffering third woman of piece, widowed mother really given birth to. She just appeared on the scene, the novel explained her " the family education was quite tight " ,She refuse to ask willing son absolutely, become son pursue the happy hindrance for a time, seem to be an unfeeling and autocratic parents. But like the drama, it was she that sent the son's lover by him in person. When she knows the whole story of the thing finally. Just say with a smile: "I did not want to marry a Taoist priest for the child for the first time, won two unexpectedly today. " Demonstrate she makes the love have human touch under the warmth of the kindred. The novel nearly ends up in the place and explains specially: "Madam is good at playing chess firmly, since occupy widowedly, is too busy for it. It is held that contented, manager's well well, there is no thing on daytime day, play chess with the daughter often. Choose the Yue tender tea leaves of light, listens to two women playing the musical instrument, the beginning breaks up at midnight. Every and people's words: ' father in when,fail also it the happy too in this when having. ' " Just think except Pu Songling, who has paid close attention to one emotion world that holds the annual widowed mother that occupies? 
Her realm is one layer higher too: Really growing the field of department while defeating, she says: "I although abundant in house, 20 of unfertile field, good fortune need cloud sleep manager is food and clothing day by day. Child but under knee, lead two woman and old body altogether happy, wish it is rich and powerful even for you to ask. " In the idea of the Confucian or feudal ethical codes, " family " Just "  The country " Epitome,"filial piety " Has already solidified as a kind of behavioral criterion, how much has seen that display the dense kindred among the mother and son mother-in-law and daughter-in-law like this? 
" Chen Yun perches "'s romance has not covered the reality to it, its reality has not diluted its ideal color either. It has reflected Pu Songling's deep insight to human nature, has reflected even more a great writer needs to mankind's general loving. 
1999     

"Almost. " Manager Ding says mutter with one's head low: "I am sorry, blame I, I expect they can so, if this did not one well-designed fraud, there is hope saved. " 
"Do you confirm it is a person of Shen ShuangFu? " Ge ZhanShui is staring at manager Ding. 
"This can absolutely never go wrong, industrial and commercial bureau is a messenger this morning, I felt that related to that batch of electric apparatuses, go to the professional training school. Last time we phoned to verify, the headmaster really had such a cousin in Guangdong, I have looked at photos this time, the name is the same, but not this person definitely. I am stunned quickly, check, what Cantonese he is not at all, but the bodyguard whom Shen ShuangFu has just engaged, originally because the crime of fraud was sentenced to 10 years' imprisonment, after coming out just now. " 
Manager Ding stand in Ge accounting for ink, wiping the sweat of the forehead ceaselessly. 
Ge oblique to rest on, at chair, rest live in health with the thick palm water. 
One manager Ding connected one and smoked, because the business was introduced by him, such a big thing has happened, he seems very heavy. His lip trembles, in tongue-tied, demonstrating when stop that extremely regretting and helpless appearance for a long time. 
Ge wave ink, send him out. 
The thing in the premonition happened at last, Ge ZhanShui put on coats, has walked out. Ge ZhanShui is such a person, when being dull, he is only an old man slow in reaction, once the disaster comes, all of his feelings will become sharp. He can save the most remarkable part in energy, is used for dealing with those disasters of coming one after another. 
As to Shen ShuangFu, he has understood very much, Shen ShuangFu is just like oneself of those years: Stubborn and intractable, the eye is not so insatiably avaricious as my man, in the stomach with big fist, dying to annex the whole world. With after tip Lu turn hostile suddenly, he has felt a pain in long time too inside heart, in all conscience, he is still very sentimentally attached to her, once very sentimentally attached to her at least, though her betrayal made him been humiliated, but there is a prerequisite after all in this - -She is young too, just like a piece of paper, a little is fired, why let her keep one's own this box of sky matches, do and endure. He did not think she spent a few days, she will come to ask him, if so, he can do without extra effort too, click compensating for her. Can in order to resolve the emotion, also can conciliate heart ashamed and repentant. Her acting out of character and looking like a tumor destined to worsen makes him uneasy, she is not a person who can submit to humiliation, what does her keeping silent mean? 
After this thing happens, his first response is Lu Ying, he knows she will retaliate against sooner or later, have not expected sound makes so greatly, has had a little taste of causing his fatal position. This look like style of her, whom she resort to every conceivable means bad to poison people, she bad smell in one at the mouth. If this whose Ying Lu is really, will certainly hide the good fortune behind. 
In the supermarket, Liu Mei is complaining to water vastly: "It is not I that say you couple, turn such a big supermarket into the street stall, come presumably, want to walk and leave. The boss was so in the past, still excusable, you were propping up after all. You are like this either now, it would be suprised if not to meet accident? You tell the truth to me, what are you busy with in this period of time? Stocking up from Yicheng, I have only met you. " 
Unset in water vastly: "Not the time to complain about now, do you say how to do this? " 
"Now do you ask this is interesting? Desist from doing something before it is too late and accept the reins late, it's too late to plug the leak when the boat is in midstream. Everything has had no enough time, the best method is to wait now, wait to compensate, wait for punishment, wait for all these become history, wait for, let you clear how manage one enterprise through the disaster, management is that the person dies in the vital part like the workshop. I am strange, all kinds of I can be regarded as a assistant, such a big thing should all get out of the way, I, if I am here, will he never profit easily? " 
"Why do we hide from you? All these are arranged by manager Ding, I just receive information temporarily too, it is of no use too that you were present at that time, one fen of household does not lack you, have anything else to can be suspected. Blame Chu's beautiful China too, you do not know she drinks dead drunkly, talk nonsense, make us put all energy on her. " 
"This doubtful, how could one stranger know we hang out a sheep's head but actually sell dog's meat he? To tell the truth, I do not know these. " 
"Also say we suspect the heart is heavy, are not you the same too? Manager Ding is one of own side, can one of own side suspect? If he really does the thing unfair to us, that is that we are blind. " 
Ge ZhanShui found Shen ShuangFu in the countryside, he was standing on Gal court that is just built self-satisfiedly at that time. Here was a pig farm originally, what trick Shen ShuangFu will not know to use, will buy at very low price. 
See Ge ZhanShui, Shen ShuangFu's face has quivered, seems pleasant surprise is and surprised: "Long time no see, have gone there to lead an aimless existence again? Do not call me either, like eating alone alone. " 
"That is your young people's business, I am one dish of dishes now, for others to eat! " 
Shen ShuangFu says; "What does it mean? Listen to you speech this what grievances does it have, say, the little younger brother helps you to balance, even if see it on Lu Ping's surface, I can't let go either, we dip in and click kissing anyhow. " 
Ge ZhanShui asks: "Protecting Biao of you? " 
Shen ShuangFu answers: "Which one protects Biao? I have several. " 

How Electronics Manufacturing China Electronics Contract Manufacturing  to do, what is to be done? Began insomnia of the endless long night those days, began the anxious and fretful despair. I began to throw the resume crazily on the net the next day --I sent 30 mails at least that day.   
Summer of one season(2)   
Having had a echo successively after the resume is sent out, I have begun the crazy interview of new round --A lot of when even be by one day three pieces,run Beijings full, laugh at oneself too when being the appropriate: My footprints spread all over Beijing too. One is smelted unreasonably like this. 
In so many resumes thrown, one is given to a cultural company. Receive they notify me go that time in telephone in interview, destine I and the cultural a good luck of Company. Seem to have a kind of illusion once seeing President Meng --This suitable amiable elder of the age with my father, that let me see is that one is smooth. Recall now that stood up, all that the heart after oneself is fragile bit by bit is amazed by. While all just occupying a commanding position in others' ordering people about by gesture in always interview, President Meng give I one cordiality of elder, gentle and kind-hearted warm I of elder, speak of the registered permanent residence of Beijing, speak of the children of the countryside, speaks of my parents, speak of the work. A person of President Meng says, does not allow me to interrupt wadding. 
Go out. Still remembering those two sentences, " I have already read your resume, we just established company, still have no ability to solve the graduate's registered permanent residence problem, you continue looking for first. Let you come this time, mainly want to speak face to face, I see you rest assured about you too. You remember this place, when is it --Even three years and five years later, you make a phone call presumably   " 
That day, I wrote in the diary: "Perhaps really experienced a spell of good fortune, met the high official in one of your lives suddenly at some moment not confirmed   "
When several such a graduates rushed about for the livelihood, for the work everywhere, someone will think highly of a graduate in Peking University so from the bottom of one's heart; In this bustling with activity city, someone will speak the enthusiastic words to child coming out in the countryside. On very moment shedding tears, well up in the heart, not merely moving. 
Four 
When Electronics Manufacturer you feel very tired out, think not to insist on again oneself, force oneself to then insist on one more little step, the possibility presented to you is another pair of world. This is said for my words by a schoolmate. 
Received the telephone of univesal communication that day, let me interview after having a chat about one or two sentences briefly. One side is very relaxed, after the boss in charge of personnel has read my materials, have asked me several careless questions, it seems still relatively satisfied. Receive her telephone a few days later, say the president wants to see me. 
The interview was arranged in the evening, one has always seemed to just eat up the things, eyes have spirit very much, hide all over affinity in smiles. Have a chat at will too, chatting and laughing general, have remembered also talking about Acheng (I knew later he was a univesal literature advisor) at that time ,I pick up the special ability, with " champion chess player ", " child's king " who always speak of Acheng, belong to one ShaoGong Han of school of literature with Acheng, " look for one's roots literature " that Acheng involve , " look for one's roots ideological trend "  . A relaxed interview. 
In a few days, I will receive the telephone that I registered of the univesal notice. Cool in summer of one season. 
Univesal offer get off a few days just, that side, talent of spaceflight, phone, come over right away, say, they have chosen three people, I am ranked the first, the working content is very close to my speciality and my tentative developing direction. 
Even if already very unwilling univesal chance rare like that to give me, even if been attracted by the univesal and vigorous life; However, consider it repeatedly and choose the spaceflight talent eventually. To the fish, to the bear's paw, everybody has one's own different definitions. Not having it correctly and by mistake, how holds only seeing oneself. 
Conclusion 
Want the heart to store remembering with gratitude, step here longly in the road that does not hold the step, those familiar ones, the person not seeing seeing, will move me. I am thanking them wholeheartedly --Those have helped me, encouraged the lovely person of me. On the bus rocking, is towing the weariness for one day of running, in the space without chink that the sweat flavor washes the nose, I will remember them; In the spring of 28 degrees of warmth, under the dark business wear and packaging of high-heeled shoes rattling away, while making a ripe posture in the posture of putting, I will remember them. The spring in these days, the sunshine becomes unreal to make everything in springtime when the spring scenery is bright and beautiful, it is hot and dry only under black parcel and pain of the hot and hot heel is true in the high-heeled shoes, but while remembering them, then ache, degradate for the warm pain. 
Go through it, find there are so many persons that are caring about you, supporting you in the world in this. Moving thing most in this world, how it is not taking vigorous how about, but that raises the hand, a silk silk thrown among the foot is warm. I am rejoicing one's own luck in that miserable chink rushing about. Say to people, " meet so many zealots on the so busy day when looks for a job, I have been already very content with one's lot. " 
All blessing persons loving oneself and loving oneself. 
Ps. Electronic Manufacturing Electronic Manufacturing Services hope, have always, no matter now or future, I believe. Some thing on at life, it is the unable to escape, it so can only have chosen by bravery in the face of. Junior sister apprentice of junior fellow apprentice who will look for a job after so as to send off giving sincerelying.   

The elder That I never liedif you want to make believethere's nothing up my sleevei'm a man as man can beas you can plainly seedon't want to see no tearseliminate your fearsi'm someone you can't fighti'm plain in sizeyou can't believe your eyesi'm too much to hold sister has never made up to look like me, she only pays attention to attentively clean, if in addition only there was any state to the skin at that time, it was like suddenly longer small pox, it will be better or did treatment while needing the cutin.
The cosmetic king teaches the rule of fighting - -Go cutin make skin to be Guang Cai bright          
Go cutin cosmetic method that I know very early, I think no matter boy girl want, go cutin. The thick cutin is piled on the face, the dirty things can not come out, the skin care products can not be entered either, the skin seems to certainly has no Guang Cai!
Especially a kind of person must go cutins, that is the person making up every day. If behind you finish unloading and make up the face, finish washing, find the face does not seem even, there are as if the particles of acne or goose pimples,etc., the cuticle which represents you is really too thick, want the cutin!
Go cutin first treasured book: The result of the scrub cream is strong if your cuticle is very thick, the pore is very thick, go cutin to spend scrub cream to be kind naturally. Want until which kind of products make a return journey cutin, had better want, watch skin state determine and then. I recommend DHC in scrub cream, it has no foam, has not washed clean pharmaceutical either, it is the simple scrub cream.
Go cutin 2 treasured book: It is temperate to congeal the glue and enzyme result      
But if your sensitive and apt to be broken skin of skin, the skin which represents you is thinner, it is apt to cause against the result instead by rubing the cutin product of to go the sand type, it is apt to corner the melanin, advise you apply face through the way that the enzyme facial film congeal the glue, a gentle one go cutin?
Go cutin 3 treasured book: Remove the corner of the mouth, cutin of wing of nose gently
Some people's wing of nose, corner of the mouth are apt to corner the melanin, these places are actually very sensitive that this represents you on the skin. If because it is black, you will risk one's life rubing it with the hands again, it will become blacker. Dispel the best method of cutin of the position, applying the face?   Go cutin 4 treasured book: The acid products of fruit are used carefully
Have Don't hang Ur head in sorrowplease don't cryI know how U feel insideI've been there beforeSomethings changing inside UAnd don't U knowDon't U cry tonightI still love U babyThere's a heaven above U babyGive me a whisperAnd give me a sighGive me a kiss before U tell me goodbyeDon't U take it so hard nowplease don't take it so badI'll still be thinkin' of UAnd the times we had-babyAnd please remember a lot of fruit sour composition go cutin articles on the market, but fruit sour composition result strong, probably relatively suitable for riding the boy of the locomotive, the cuticle on their face is really very thick. General girl, wash girl of face often, spend fruit sour product if affectedly bashful well especially, stimulus that may be excessive. So, as to the acid products of fruit, unless your cuticle uses it again really very thick, otherwise really use carefully.
Cosmetic king's discussion about experience
Sum up and say, there are three kinds of to cause dim possibility that sink of your complexions, a is that you take the side effect which pass slice or contraceptive of adjusting, second, your cuticle is too thick, the third is that you are more yellow.
It is being very effective that these are used and whitened to improve. I especially recommend the red wine facial film of a cosmetic hall of new life, it can activate the blood circulation of the skin, let the skin look and glitter!
Do when you believeit's true when u believeit's a big worldblue skyin that daynobody at hereif you would liketomorrow is a fine daybeauty lifemiss youshine futureit's sun dayi am not a big girlin my lifethe feeling of loveshine daygood feelingbeautiful worldenjoy delicious foodlove is a feelingTalk to me softlyThere's something in Ur eyes not have flaw high-quality skin the most without spot

The aunt smiles distractedly whether " people have told you - -Your very cold feeling. " 
"Not small number. " 
"Why look for and fit? " Switch the conversation to some other subject, sharp and unusual. 
The Xi time of the mat makes a U-turn and watches to me, has tenderness which I can see only in the expression in one's eyes, and such tenderness, made me suddenly a little getting fidgety unexpectedly, was remembering the body, teach aunts how to push, " too timid to fit like you. " 
Being stagnat, I smile, " aunt has a joke. " 
"Ms. Piao. " Can not recognize a bit mood in dull intonation, " I do not hope she is awkward. " Second, tone begin, become deserted, " hope you let her to be awkward still more. " 
"What? Begin to chide me. " 
The Xi time of the mat is stoic, " fit the aunt of Jie, I ought to respect. " 
"Fit the aunt of Jie! Hen, if not this layer of relation, how will you be to me? Young people, materials of you deed very abundant, to be frank, I think you whether pieces of meeting respect kind the younger generation of elder. " 
Mat Xi time cast a look at me, frown, " Ms. Piao, any questions may ask me directly, needn't take great energy so. " 
"What, tense? Rest assured, you should know what external ability can be found would like to know in your bottom line for others. " 
"What do you want to know? " 
"Follow wise man it speaks to be light, tell me whether you what is purpose set up to close to? Don't tell me it is the love, this set out of fashion of mine! " 
"So   "Voices that the cold sinks are many and soft somewhat, " is crazy about, this can accept. " 
The aunt, see it to me later, I only smile, pick up water cup and drink water, hands are a little cool. I am used to drinking much water, frozen water when being tense. 
"Crazy about? You   " Aunt stare at loud eyes think, answer seat Xi time. 
"In 12, enough? " Can't recognize a bit mood in gentle intonation. 
Hands are quiver, water cup is almost dropped to the ground   Does not I wonder if, it was so long unexpectedly, was 12 annual   
Has crossed it for a good while, speaks that the aunt is cold, " of few words? The comment on you of the external world seems to disagree. Do you think I will believe these exaggerating words? " 
"Believing whether it is unimportant for me or not or not of you. " 

"Have   I am explaining. " The sound floods in the hair, rumbled. 
"Eh. " I smile, eyes self-awareness become very soft, " correctly, happy birthday, seat Mr., it takes though two days late. However, next year - -I think I should be unable to miss. " 
Probably lasting five seconds, the whole person of Xi time of mat is stiff like petrochemical industry, slightly draw back me apparently excitedly the next quarter, is looking at I, the mere radiant splendour of the eyes midstream, "you   Have promised? " Whom he ask very light and very light, meticulously the extraordinary too one. 
Sigh one breath cannot help but, " the aunt is sure to be angry   "
Suffocate kiss warmly, want what that speak swallow up completely me, suck and hand in twining constantly, and after missing the mutual lip, two people's breath is both a little confused. 
This person, really the less see the occasion. 
Put down the fluctuation in the heart, did I asked smiling, " did you seem to like kissing me very much lightly? " Like dabing my left face too. 
The face of the beautiful ease raises a layer of blush, the precise and refined finger is sealed to volume border at once, like liking something to block, " - -Since the feeling difficulty is prohibited. " Twitter and say.   
 
It has already been six o'clock in the afternoon to get back to the aunt in the hotel staying. 
"Have known back. " The aunt sitting up straight in the sitting room looks back on and smiles. 
"What the aunt's afternoon tea is drunk but it is good. " 
"It is good well, it is good naturally. " 
I leave, be there, gather up neck to live in aunt, " the aunt, it will be ageing to be angry. " 
The aunt has spat, look to the entry place later, in the expression in one's eyes is the obvious agreeing to, "young people, I give you a chance, you can turn round to leave now. " 
Mat Xi time does not put one word, cool to nod greetings, step forward, enter, elegant. 
"Say, I can be regarded as your elder too. " Aunt's board has a face. 
"Yes. " Smiling slightly, " you are Ann Jie's aunt. " 
The aunt has picked up coffee and drunk some, enter the theme directly, " you should know, I do not like you. " 
Mat Xi time the clear in expression from,"like you, the unimportant. " 

"Would like to stroll with me? " He says, very direct. 
Waiting for me to open one's mouth, an arm in the shoulder place is at the ring softly, someone embraces me from behind I tightly - -Familiar peppermint flavor! 
"I am sorry, she can only be accompanied by me. " Low-spirited and cold and slow intonation, very pure French. 
I go back god in being distracted and seized with terror from a transient one that, by light to smile at " such as ghosts and goblins forever your appearance. " 
Feel the neck has been bitten gently, it seems that also appears something rumbled, but because too light cause was not heard vividly. 
Mat Xi time stand frank body, a graceful one step out one set up get I body side, and take advantage of a situation very much pick up I hang down left hand aside, the five fingers are slipped into, hold, " please excuse me. " This words of his were spoken to that French man opposite, simple and elegant and courteous. 
Walk to the side road drawing me after finishing saying. 
"What's the matter? " I smile, ask, graceful to disappear while being noble, step worried to make an uproar, let him seem at odds. 
The step is stopped, the Xi time of the mat turns round suddenly, gloomy sight locks me tightly, face a bit depressed, pass, for a moment, overflow a of sighs gently only, there are not the ensuing chapters. 
I smile, " and then, I want to stroll there, want it together. " By the way has pointed the direction by the guide. 
Mat Xi time frank to see I direct, open one's mouth at long last finally, but electrify the listeners with what said, " fit Jie, I love you. " 
I am for a good while, gently at the sound, " kindness. " 
Mat Xi time silent to look at I, eyes dark a dark one, suddenly I smiled and spoke, "how to look like a child, mat gentleman. " 
Mat Xi time gather up enter chest tightly me, " fit Jie sometimes. " Gentle sound, but it is timid to full of feelings. 
I leave stagnatly and distractedly, let it hug, it is having no time to take into account that the passerby looks out and watches attentively. 
"Nobody has said I am one - -Child. " Imbed head neck of me, low to laugh at while being low. 

"Will not recognize me? " Man overcast side smile, " how long met no, did you forget I who almost become your husband? " "Capital of five grams? You have not died! " How can is it? Protecting the daughter in the chest tightly of her both hands.    
It is impossible! She can't keep watch on him directly believing, he has not escaped from the stone room, after the avalanche of the masonry building collapses, how can he be free?    
"Suspect? I have not really died. "it walk close to she slowly he, unless fear to look at is that she rise constantly, the cold to smile:" You and it is the white it can escape from disaster peak,can't I with? "    
The face on the left of him has been all blocked by the hair in disorder, he who is present is more cloudy and more terrible than more than one year ago.    
"You go bankrupt, well, marry, give white to in conformity with the peak, born a daughter even. " No silk temperature looks at that baby sleeping soundly of the eyes of him.    
"How do you know we are here? " Qin RuoYu cools down rapidly.    
The peak is out, but can there is no any body -proof things by her, she can only delay, wait for the peak to come back, otherwise they can not all escape.    
Wu Ke looks at her and since but even more shows the spoiling beautiful face dark greenly, " I can not forget you, can not forget to bring my agony whitely in conformity with the peak, I must let white to taste miserable flavour too in conformity with the peak. " He pushes the hair on the face aside, that half a face turning black emerges, " this is commemoration that you give to me, have you forgotten? "    
"You   What do you think of? "    
"How about it? " He laughs heartily, " ask well, what I think of? I want you and white in conformity with the peak to live is no better than to die, want you to be painful all one's life! "    
He stretches out one's hand and robs the baby in her chest fast.    
"Yan! " Qin RuoYu attacks forward at once, but Wu Ke has the one that took precautious that backed out early, she attacks one and falls emptily on the ground.    
"Unlock Yan! "    
"Unlock? Haha   " He wanton laugh once again, " if you willing to follow I, it is willing to support with life in conformity with peak to be white, can get her security in return. "    
Qin RuoYu stands up, wants to reseize the daughter, but let five grams be thrown away all alone.    
"Hen! I will not kill you, I want you to be painful all one's life. " What he does not have pity on at all is raised hands have arisen, a call sounds in time.    
"If the rain? "    

Chapter 18 Meet again in surprise (4)   
This is Xiao Cheng's the first time to tell me in that case, curiously, I do not feel sickening at all. Having really accepted this man slowly, perhaps, has already fallen in love with him, I do not know. 
Should let Bei Bei be greatly surprised, I am too impatient to wait.     
     Part four   
     Chapter 19 Happy life (1) of the evil spirit Bei Bei   
Not waiting for him to finish saying yet, the small soldier has already gone to by me, he is looking at me with smile with that pair of eyes that can vary countless kinds of languages. 
The ice is blue, long time no see. 
Ah! That's great, you know, has met the acquaintance here again. 
And then, we hear Bei Bei speak a word, all people stay there. 
Bei Bei opens the door for me at the sound carelessly, has wrapped up a shower cap on the head, aprons are being enclosed, struggling with the soot in the kitchen. I imagination 100 expect Bei Bei to see Su Yang with such image either, have repentant purpose suddenly, this girl will be sure to treat me as afterwards the faggots have been split. 
It is being distracted there that Bei Bei is waving the slice, the expression has been solidified for a long time, that kind of expression that can't be believed, then drip the great tears that dripped greatly. I see the lip that she trembled, nothing can be said out. 
Xiao Cheng vies for the slice that has gone in Bei Bei's hands. 
Su Yang stood dully there, for a long time for a long time, suddenly embraced Bei Bei once in one's arms. Without languages, does not need languages, in ten years, how many ten years are there in life? How to send a few words? 
Bei Bei has been brought too to our city, we were together at last. 
Because my father behaved well but given reduction of sentence, I will go back to see him if having time, sometimes Xiao Cheng will accompany me to go together. 
I write to father. 
Dear father, are you OK? 
For a long time, it is so gentle and happy and over that I do not have, perhaps this's the life. I always wished eagerly to grow the love of life and death vigorously in the past. Young soldier and I make and look for in the correctly mutual torment to the mutual sincerity earthshakingly, think about it now, life have so complicated, let us preceded name of the love complicate just actually. Mutual trust is so important. 
Cheng Xiao three years younger than me, this whether I hesitate too, I think he getting simple a child of picture sometimes, the environment of the hospital is very simple too, his family is very simple too, including his emotion to me is very simple. With him I think it very serene, but I do not know whether this is love, I am very afraid that will injure to his simplicity by oneself. Sometimes I think I am a person with amentia, perverse and irritable, it is true to fear, perhaps relate to my experience, it can be by forgiving me as before that I become desolately in years after not knowing, the ones that do not know how to ask together with me are passing. Those passing to leave very heavy scar at heart of me, I think to desolate to it becomes to be unfair like this always, so I am unable to accept his love calmly. 
Dad, I do not know how to do, there should be a resolution in everything, go on like this, not fine to me to him, but I fear in the face of such resolution again. 
Bless me, my father. 
The ice is blue 
The replying in letter of my father. 
The dear one is blue: 
Hello. Hearing from you, I am happy and anxious. The happy one is that your life left and got on the right track at last, is afraid you did not see future clearly, have made decision carelessly. 
My father has been hoping all the time you can be happy, has hoped that there is a person that can bring the happiness to you. Two people are born by a kind of responsibility and one kind together. Cheng Xiao child I this see expression in one's eyes of him limpid, think from him your expression in one's eyes I can feel his care to you, in fact, age is out of question, it may not be a bad thing to be simple. If you think that it is happy gentle disposition to stay with him, then, why not allow such happy peace and continue? 
Blue, my father has been thinking all the time that has been unfair to you, has fail to give to a happy family of your since childhooded, a succession of things then appeared again later, fail to let you savour the warmth of the familied, but has faced the separate forever pressure with the society too early. Your individual character is too strong, unwilling to bow, in fact very fragile at heart, just making great efforts to protect oneself, can't know and protect you without a murmur unless really seeing through the persons of your inner world, forbearing and conciliatory, you. 
In the past when you were with young soldier, I will be indistinct and anxious, that child had sharp and cold and detached sight, bringing animosity, I know you are in love each other, but not enough that families only has love, you are two children losing it, take pity on and torment each other each other. In fact, the impact on people of the family is very important. 
Blue, my father has been blessing you. Choose, then bear, I believe you can do very well. I believe too you will have a happy family. Treasure, have now, cast aside passing all. You are the most simple child in father's eyes, have firm perseverance to the love, believe that the same too in Xiao Cheng's eyes. 
My father 
I sit by the window reading, I read gently. 
Even at your side, I am missing all the time. 
Xiao Cheng has put down the painting brush in the hand, suddenly said to me, blue, let's get married. 
Without flowers, without good wine, there are no rings, there are no all painstaking forms, escape one's lips so naturally, but I know, this will be a commitment all one's life. 
And then give me some time, OK? I have a kind of baffled fear to the marriage. 
Xiao Cheng is kissing my forehead, don't worry, I should be as you know, I love you, competent. 
This is Xiao Cheng's the first time to talk about the love to me. 
Cheng Xiao the all over sunflower bright in luster is painted, turn on luxuriantly then at the wall of bedroom in me, then beautiful, so full of vitality. This is a thing that he agreed without thinking three years ago, now, let me have one's face covered with tears. 
Who says this is not a kind of happiness? There is no terrifying waves, but happy indistinctly in my heart. Perhaps people have no fault, the emotion done little by little without a break could be meaningful.   

Chapter 18 Meet again in surprise (2)   
In fact I do not blame him. 
Certainly you can't blame him, if wanting to blame, blame yourself, the disappointing fellow! The man is curious and lustful forever, the so-called good man can command the sports of other parts of the body with the brain, that is to say reason can inhibit impulse. Have, shut up, you the idiot does not can believe others deceive little what of girl just, all kinds of my wives understand I, depend on, this words little girl listen to, can smile, feel a pain in the chest when breathing now, there is not a little intention. 
All right, don't decrease in this way, OK? Anyway has already gone over. 
You, had better learn a fall into the pit, a gain in your wit, looking at rather clever children, the brain has been all bantered beautifully. 
Do you finish having? Amahs are not all so wordy as you, facing toward the mirror and say another word, the happy thing does not know and mention, know, choose Chen sesame rotten grain these, irritated? I wash Bei Bei and shout eight degrees high. 
Bei Bei is reluctant to show weakness too, draw back a posture of quarrelling. How how,care too the getting incorrect on you, if not not watch at 20 more than years at surface of friend, it is even ignored to ask that I dies. 
All right, Xiao Cheng runs out from the kitchen, the hands full of water draw back us, don't be noisy, quarrel once meeting, disappearing stops subdueing and stopping. 
You shut up! We two wash Xiao ChengDa to call at the same time, became desolately immediately child's form closed the mouth, a face is hurt and wronged, three people laugh heartily. 
Do you know why you can not marry? 
We are happy, we two become being desolate according to beating. 
In the evening, bore with Bei Bei in a quilt, seem to get back to ten years ago, make a fun for quite a while laughing and jokingly. 
The moon outside window is very big and very round, remember at that time, Bei Bei was the quilt creeping into me like this too, look at outside window full moon, relate to the fact that I say everything of north Su with joy. 
Bei Bei, have you been unable to forget Su Yang all the time? 
Bei Bei is reticent, has crossed it for a long time, she has said, that section remembers beautiful very much, I am unable to smash it. 
I am sorry. 
Blue, you must not say so, this does not matter with you, really. Actually Su Yang would go abroad, I did not want because I upset the track of his life. 
I know Bei Bei and lie, well-meaning lie. 
Have you looked for him? 
In fact, in the past two years, I looked for, but everybody did not have his news, he seems that it is general to disappear, seems to cast aside everything passing, I think, we have already lost. 
Do you want to see him? I have asked an idiot's question. 
Bei Bei is said, do you still remember long-haired pelt? 
That deceived us to sell cicadas a shell as a child, the fellow treating your baby's head as the soccer and playing, how could forget? 
Yes, at that time, he was still our idol at marriageable age. It is very high, very handsome. 
Oh, think in spring again? Why talk about him? Will not you have a leg with him? 
Bei Bei stares at me. The first some day I see he, one middle aged man that put on weight, bring child, the look is wooden, the ones that did not have that year are daring and energetic. Thought that felt sad at that time, made a detour and went away. Live! 
Looking at the moon outside window, we no longer speak, think of one's own worry each. I worry about by Bei for Bei, nearly 30 age, still living in 20 year old of memories, her world, has refused all invasion sedulously, I know her hope with unbending heart, she wait for north Su. 
I pray under the moon, God, please open eyes, this world has too many regrets, please help. 
The ice is blue, did Bei Bei suddenly say, are there small soldiers in your heart? 
I have hit one quiverly sometimes, don't mention him to me, he lets me feel sick. 
Are you still hating him? 
No, he is not worth my hating. 
But you are obviously. He is in your heart, right? 
Bei Bei, are all the thing in the past, I had already faded from memory slowly, unwilling to remember those injury again too. 
In fact, the ice is blue, you should listen to the small soldier explaining, perhaps what difficulties he has. 
Bei Bei, you mustn't say, I do not want to hear this name. My mood is a little excited. 
No Bei Bei's words again. Has cooled down, I am surprised at one's own response, put the small soldier in my bottom of heart? Man whom I forgot sedulously by various methods. Perhaps it is at heart in yours that some people carve, how diligent and unable to obliterate. Yes, I hate the young soldier, hate his letting me use for one year and wait to bring his betrayal in a moment, hate his catching all of my weaknesses, defeat me easily, hate his giving me so much bright memory and so much deep injury. 
I am the ice of Scorpio is blue. 
With Xiao Cheng one day the warm,time Is long will feelings with family, yes, this man, he has entered into my life slowly, I begin to accept his tender feeling slowly. He is much riper, no longer so active before, there was not too much giving pleasantly surprisedly to you, can not write poems either, but he cares about your life meticulously, he is very optimistic and optimistic, have a calm and calm heart, it seems not to be that this age of his have. Xiao Cheng has very happy families, parents are all teachers, very in love, a pair of old men that husband and wife treating each other with courtesy, it is interesting to be kind and gentle, Xiao Cheng grows under such an environment, is the happiness that our institute can't realize, he has a very healthy psychology. And I, think sometimes oneself is morbid state. Leisure desolate to can become drawing, draw color in the works very abundant, I sit sunshine in front of the window read silent sometimes, he is describing my silhouette silently, smiles at each other knowingly once in a while, seem to reach a certain tacit understanding too, is this a feeling of the family?   

Chapter 17 The marriage and love (3)   
The TV play stems from life, whether I believe or there are many so originally very in love, but always the family unable to communicate normally. 
In fact thinking about it, the people who can find the person in love are all luck fellows, but just someone does not treasure. 
Treasure, you treasure, who does not treasure, most people get married cherishing bright hopes, but how much families' real happiness? 
Bright hope, you are a bright hope, where is but the other side? It takes to be can't be more prudent, patience patient and then! 
Will often have been cheated eyes by lard when you really fell in love with a person, even if you understand in the heart, will make great efforts to persuade oneself, look for the excuse for one's own love, look for the outlet. If you love the other side really so profoundly, and the other side would like to marry you again, I will estimate all people getting happy wind crown of the head wind crown of the head, every can also really clearly watch, and people always estimate one's own ability too high, think one's own love will always have one day when complete sincerity can affect even metal and stone. 
I believe there is real love, happy marriage in the world in this. 
I smile, you are really a child. It is all easy to in fact say in anything, it is too difficult to do, it is really advanced art of the door that two people get along. Really envy you, still nourish the bright expectation at least. 
The ice is blue, don't be so disheartened, you should believe, your Mr.Right has not just appeared at the moment. 
I think, the relation by marriage is farther and farther that I have divorced, all happiness comes so unreally and transiently. 
Don't think too much, your mistaken idea is to think of the future too far, one's own unwarranted suspicion and pressure that give, remember the lyrics in the film " blue and green snake ": Follow lover, make quick pleasure, it ignores to be to it robs to be predestination. All right, do not tell you, clear the table, plan to have a meal. You fellow, it is because there are too many things in a mess in the brain to be unhappy. 
You because you go through too little, blow that receive too little, be defeated on the emotion after being destined, will be clear sooner or later. 
Cheng Xiao nip neck to live in me, fellow you, speak too insidious, take, discipline rigorously.   

Chapter 17 The marriage and love (1)   
Bei Bei is said, your personality is destined so, it is sure to be shaken by your three outly to your very good man who always follow one's advice, you wish eagerly that kind bombs blazing emotion that split open, thirst for one stubbornly, resolutely, the ability and intelligence is outstanding, can grasp the situation and order you, renovate you, reward you, caress you firmly, man of the energy brute force making you convincing on base. 
The ice is blue, go back with me, I can't let you stay here alone. Xiao Cheng says firmly, you believe me. 
Xiao Cheng, I have been already all scratched up. 
It so happened, I am a doctor. 
I keep silent unbendingly. 
The ice is blue, you should be happy, you do not know how I like you who are happy. Now, you let me love. Is this life that you want? Confused dark life. 
Yes, I need, save perhaps, unable to save one's own, can only draw support from others' arm as me. I fear, let down Cheng Xiao just, such a pure natural man, do I have courage to bear his love? 
The ice is blue, go with him, you should originally belong to your normal natural life. Though I hate to part with you very much. The little goblin nipped the cigarette and killed it in the cigarette jar, suddenly stood up, laughed very freely and easily, this world divides and shuts jointly in a lot of, what is this? You do not have a great beauty, it is not a handsome boy full of ideas for state policy or programs, need I tingle for your nose? 
But my nose tingles. This woman, is in fact lonely too, the love that she is being banished, is banishing her at the same time in love. Whom we need can sit friend together while being silent one sometimes, there is a person in the room, not lonely any more. 
I have moved to and become there, the new house, very succinct equipment, the playing up of light bottom and big pieces of color lump desolately. 
Hello, irritate color apt to let people neurasthenia very much. I suspect whether you are the schizophrenia. I claim to Xiao Cheng. With him, have no reason to be unhappy. Even happiness on representation floats. 
Xiao Cheng is very kind to me, extraordinary patience, forgive my angry temperament apt to be rash. To tell the truth, if you can not choose man's any defects, and I, is unable to accept his emotion to me whole-heartedly. 
Bei Bei say personality of you destine so, to you being sure to three shake you out in very good man that always follow one's advice, you wish eagerly that kind bombs blazing emotion that split open, thirst for one stubbornly, resolutely, the ability and intelligence is outstanding, can grasp the situation and order you, renovate you, reward you, caress you firmly, man of the energy brute force making you convincing on base. 
Oh, am I so low-down? 
You think. 
Think about it now, it seems that what Bei Bei is said is not unreasonable, I like that kind of tough man compulsorily, what it seems that only like that, with so strong a rival could find the fun of life when contend. 
How to describe and become desolately? A very obedient big pure boy, there are no too many emotional experiences, believe the love, it is sincere to believe, believe forever too. 
Sometimes I present the warmth like family in the heart once seeing him, like seeing brothers. In being the busy in he on the every day the busy to blow outside loud whistle,it scheming happy, though two fifteen six people of year old too, but filling sunshine so, it is warm and happy to let people look at. 
I remain unchanged, write characters of me every day, boil rice porridge, wipe, go out, take a walk, see sunshine go to meadow go to school child of the step, make in the heart warm little by little. There are very good facilities in the district, the neighbourhood is very hospitable too, sit on swing downstairs getting sun like my patient sometimes, are there old men that say, the girl, your face is not good, has the body been uncomfortable? I am smiling and looking at the old man, then sit under the sunshine together, review the life of old man these decades. Only they themselves know, chatter, because they are really lonely too in the old men's loneliness, need a person who can accompany them to speak. 
I ask Xiao Cheng, you say, when you like a person very much, you can listen to her chattering very patiently, after that kind of passion of yours goes over, hear, it chatters to be can very irritated and very much no patient, want to look for an excuse to run away very much   
Xiao Cheng is looking at me, is liking and passion contradictory? Not passionate, can like too. I think, when there is no passion, estimate, suit already, chatter, can feel not strange also. But person chattered to change for another come might on patient then. 
In fact that is to say patiently, it is not patient not to like when when likes, in charge of his ever liking? 
In fact if you take notice of the feeling of that person, care about him, hope for him well, will tolerate his chattering. If does not like, he is the quiet sitting not to trouble you aside, it will be irritated too more that you thought. 
How terrible, no wonder so many marriages all became and detested each other finally. 
Father Nanny I say to take me. My father speaks my mother too sometimes, " very irritated, a thing tosses about, " My mother is unhappy sometimes after hearing, say very angrily " what irritated irritated " ,I father sigh a few words, pacify my mother conversely. But answer I, might on say you think you, you here what is there more irritated very conscientiously. But my father can not. It means I father I emotion of mother and I different in emotion of mother to me correctly. 
That would be strange equally. Your father may afraid that explain the more irritated. You are a child, your mother humours you, does not argue with you, in that family, can not return your daddy to humour your Mummy, or where to let the matter rest so easily. 
However, I believe expert says a certain love on TV, the passion likes being will always be turned into the kindred and loved. But I think, the kindred liked transforming by the passion loves, and the kindred coming through blood relationship loves is still different. If my own wife, I think I will treasure carefully, unwilling. Besides, it is a good thing to chatter, there were companions speaking old. Of few words and still not extremely gloomy. In a word, I am quite confident to the marriage, I think that know thoughtfully big at age.   

Chapter 16 Live in other places (1)   
In this city, I have no friend, I and a very modern girl a little over 20 cohabit, she have big eyes perplexed, one head fluffy gaudy red short hair and can hold beautiful both hands of the pen, she write uncanny light characters of fairy, sex as float lily at dirty bad smell oil slick description. We are not friends, but we know how each other deeply. 
Xiao Cheng is looking at me, are you here these years? Have suffered hardships? I am looking at this big boy at the moment, much riper, weariness with some, but still there are brilliant eyes like the planetesimal. 
Do you know how long, how anxious I have looked for you? Under the star light, this beautiful man's eyes are changing strange color, I lost it into it unexpectedly. 
It is a few years, in the past few years, I did not get in touch with anyone, just looked for a silk comfort in downcast and alcohol at night. I know man that I love why one go far from me, or should cure last love sow traumatic pain with groan of a love. However, the heart is like exhaustion. 
Tall and erect will still leave a message on the diary. I will still go to look too. The freedom of the human nature is not originally gone to impose, I accept destiny slowly. 
Digging my eyes, I can still see you, 
Stopping up my ears, I can still hear you; 
Without foot, I can go to your side, 
Without mouth, I can pray to you. 
Breaking my both arms, I can still embrace you - -
Use my heart, like hand. 
Pincers live in my heart, my brain can not be stopped; 
You set fire and burn my brain, 
You will hold up me, the blood which uses me. 
If any man will give me countless passion, happiness and tear like small soldier, what men are there be with the tall and erect return and calm that generally give me soul? 
Hear leaving me and waking up in some month of some year of winter 
I think I wait for me to look forward to the future but can't arrange 
There is a person to wait in the future outside the window of cloudy day bike at dusk 
See and like abducting several and just coming curved forward right left 
What kind of dialogue who I meet to have 
In how far 's future it will be person he that I wait for 
I hear wind from the subway and sea of faces 
I am lining up to hold the number slip of the love 
I fly over the sea for one time to forward flight 
We have been injured in the love extremely too 
The entry where I am looking at the way dream is a little narrow 
It is the accident most beautiful that I meet you 
My answer to a riddle will be untied one day in the future 
After leaving that city with tall and erect figure, I roam about to a very modernized city in the South. There are skyscrapers there, there are noisy bars day and night, there is a red man's green daughter busy for life, there is the twining sillily and sillily of a prosperous scene too. However, that city does not believe the love. 
Once in a while, I will spend the night with some men having nothing to do, sometimes nothing will happen, just two pieces of lonely soul nestle and get warm. What kind of times is these, air packed with impetuous, yearn for but each other two people of health know the other side's name. Perhaps all these one is to a kind of vindictiveness of life, but the ice is blue, retaliate against stubbornly like this, whether worthy. I begin to hate oneself. 
In this city, I have no friend, I and a very modern girl a little over 20 cohabit, she have big eyes perplexed, one head fluffy gaudy red short hair and can hold beautiful both hands of the pen, she write uncanny light characters of fairy, sex as float lily at dirty bad smell oil slick description. We are not friends, but we know how each other deeply. We have few what, but each exchange is being exchanged diligently. 
Come into door of her for the first time, she mediocre to sweep I lazy. 
Come in. 
Curl one's lip, she says, that house, rent is 700 in January, a pack of water and electricity, the sitting room is public, the hygiene is swept in turn, people without fixed duties,etc. mustn't put up for the night, don't be too noisy. Finish saying, bury oneself to enter the sofa stoically. 
I nearly decide to stay without seeing the house, in an instant, I come to like this red hair evil spirit woman. 
The evil spirit woman calls oneself little vagrant goblin. 
The little goblin is the editor of a fashion magazine, always have some advance guards' view and theory, until person of eyes see, see, familiar with, you will think she disguise indifferent appearance the sensitive fragile heart with strength, so write the characters so as to catch the spirit deep-rootedly. 
She has many boyfriends, but there is no lover. 
She often wears seldom very thin clothes and dances lightly in the room self-assuredly, so American as to let people suffocate. 
I say, die girl, wear more after she finishes jumping always? 
But she says speaking plausibly, the health of exposing a person is art, it is vulgar that conceal it. Vulgar, too vulgar to be endured. I throw the sofa mat on her indistinct body. 
The little goblin believes the love, but does not believe the eternal love. 
It is the getting more exhausted always in but single love whether to last love the I one inspiration,at I inspiration in when, it is time to pursue new love to relieve oneself. People's life can not only love a person, why confine one's own soul? The marriage system is really mankind strangling harshly to natural instinct. 
But there is responsibility in the marriage. 
People can only pay responsibility to oneself, why expect others to be responsible for you? 
But the marriage needs to be loyal. 
Then not need the marriage. The woman need only keep loyal to oneself, and women, to the male " non- loyal " Just in order to return to oneself, do not cheat and lascivious. There are women who a lot of very beautiful men courted, that, who is coming, even if that woman whom even Nietzsche can not forget all the time, let it be, no matter who is she, she say woman of love seem " whether one wait for lightning split tree turn on it " anyway ,It or heart splits, or send out the longer new branch of the new bud; That is to say she either sacrifice oneself is or " loyal " to man . In addition, have no other its ways. She has transferred to a beautiful circle, I do not go to live with the model, do not hope either whose model oneself becomes, I live only for myself.   

Chapter 14 The thistles and thorns (3) fully   
A is looking at me three times, vast and hazy. 
I have split over to that face beautiful that just revived from fond dream hand, this woman beautiful is in panic immediately. The little soldier catches my arm in the air, very painful, few and unreasonable like a shrew, forbid you to touch her. 
My hands were stopped in the air, all have exceeded my expectation, I thought everything was at my disposal to the limit, had never expected that has been fallen one by the rival to suffer a crushing defeat. 
I laugh hollowly ceaselessly, besides hollow laugh, what can do? A pair of dogs men and women demonstrate the passionate story on my wedding bed, speak plausibly. I suddenly thought that looked like a clown oneself, deduced in the play of overall arrangements of others heartily. I thought the young soldier had really forgiven me, in fact all these were only retaliated against, he wants to let me taste and is fallen from summit to the flavour of the bottom of valley, shouting pain at heart lets me grow out the dense purpose of hating. I can forgive a lot of things, but never forgive and betray, at the time of that, I begin to despise the small soldier from the bottom of heart, begin not to be worth one's own emotion, from at that moment, I knew, a lot of things should be finished. 
I turn one's head and leave, hear small soldier saying behind, don't chase her, she that's settled, listen to any explanation. 
My heart breaks to pieces entirely, has left my past life at fastest speed, the chance not giving the small soldier any explanation, what is there to explain? I do not want to hear. Not telling no one where I have gone, disappear like this, no longer long for and does not cherish the memory of again either. It is most been even for I believe in in, soldiers little of addictions cleans passionate with such, who else can believe in? I begin the frightened love.   

Chapter 14 The thistles and thorns (1) fully   
Go down car dejected, I hold out back direct frank always on ordinary days, waist light to sprain, leave the small soldier, in one night, I have become a woman beautiful, yes, it is a woman, it is not a girl. Now, my only feeling is tired, hard with the socializing of work, with the socializing of the men and women, with the socializing of slander, socialize with what has been missed. I am only a tired out girl, yes, it is a girl, not a woman. 
I remember that has already destroyed the identifications of all hospitals, the small soldier has no reason to know. 
When I stands to the small soldier's angry lion, I feel the trick is sent and cooled, the ones that should come came at last. 
The ice is blue, you let me down, let yourself down? Small soldier's red eyes, your woman without human nature, I saw you clearly at last. The small soldier's Adam's apple is quivering, can not take words out of the mouth. 
You are not so, you listen to me. 
I do not want to listen to, please go. The small soldier's tone is extraordinarily cold. 
OK, you do not leave, I leave. He breaks the door going mad, 
I fall paralysedly on the ground in the door. I know the young soldier will not come back, he will not forgive me. Still stewing the sparerib soup that the small soldier likes eating on the stove, I break soup on the ground once, the foot has been bubbled hotly. I know small soldier from which corner jump, come out again, person who love foot to hold me. Yes, I always want to torment oneself, the one that could see him to me is distressed. 
Day passes by quickly, in half a year, I have not seen the small soldier, have filled his breath all over the room, sometimes I will want to miss him very much very much, think of his warm arms, long and thin finger, pure expression in one's eyes, think of the thin tobacco taste on him, think of his ruddy eyes when being angry, think of all happiness when together. 
People were one such animal originally, it was long, all memory was filtered, the ones left are all beautiful things. 
I have gone back to the advertising agency to work again, Eric smiles at more magnificently than the mountain flower. I know you will come back, the ice is blue, you are that an advertising rare talent is coming. 
Since a rare talent, should certainly rise the salary, I smile. 
Eric says, the ice is blue, you are more self-confident than before, more beautiful. 
Yes? Failing in love originally will let people become self-confident and beautiful. I force a smile. However, an unquestionable one is, the since small soldier leaves, the bird that I seemed to get back to the forest, get back to the small fish in water, all of a sudden think heartily, perhaps this's that the ice is blue, whom I need free air, though heart row into last lines of dark wound very, though will stand huge pain, life is really resuming, I begin to be busy, begin to socialize, begin to have different friends, begin to be chased by different men, however, no longer have love. 
My career is becoming more prosperous every day, buy the car, but still live in the room which the small soldier rents, perhaps, I am waiting for anything. I have put the young soldier's thing in order to together, change all furnishings again, yes, even if I am waiting for anything, don't wait in ceaselessly memory either. 
Bei Bei is said, don't deceive oneself as well as others, you should move out of that house at all. 
The ice is blue, I am happpy you say good-bye to young soldier, but begin to worry after you. I understand you very much, you can not have lived in remembering all the time, sweet memory wears away people pursue the happy root of the trouble. 
Don't blind to worry about, I which day be playing and singing boyfriend constant every night now? 
Is that true? Are you deceiving me or deceiving yourself? 
Yes, leave the small soldier's day, I never accept any man, it is unable to accept. I think, I have been punished. 
I will date with different men, have a meal, see the film, is enjoying the happiness pursued, or the work like going mad, send vacant torment people's time. Most often what invite is Eric, I tell him the little soldier's story, he often looks at me loving, he says, the ice is blue, tries to accept others, you will find, it is not you that think of as what was hit it difficult. 
I understand myself. I know, and does not want so as what was hit so easily just like that as I. I think I changes the worse, the more degenerate more and more, is only lack of not having other men's bed. 
Bei Bei says, goes to bed with two or more men, can go to bed with any man, so advanced a theory, I wonder when to practise. 
The love not dying in the bottom of heart is put, fly and fly ceaselessly, only landing makes people drenched with blood. We are mutual thistles and thorns. 
Empty and hollow at the parking area, very great echo, has turned off the light, I have sat in the car for a moment, boundless weariness, I begin to miss the small soldier, do not know what he is doing now, whether still hating me. 
Go down car dejected, I hold out back direct frank always on ordinary days, waist light to sprain, leave the small soldier, in one night, I have become a woman beautiful, yes, it is a woman, it is not a girl. Now, my only feeling is tired, hard with the socializing of work, with the socializing of the men and women, with the socializing of slander, socialize with what has been missed. I am only a tired out girl, yes, it is a girl, not a woman. 
The light walking at the parking area is out of order, the administration expense was not handed in few, serve but can not always catch up with, a little angry, if not, having moved early, so as to not make the way frighten at night, it is said that a gangster flees hither and thither to commit a crime at the parking area recently, think more and more anxious and fearful in the heart. Suddenly, an enormous soul carried me on the wall, I screamed, the mouth is covered by a pair of big hands. I played and gripped desperately, but of no avail, a hand was tried to find out on me, the skirt has been torn, a strong man carries it on my body tightly, that kind of feeling, has already been familiar with, strange. I hear wheezing rapid, feel strong heartbeat, heart begin drop, jump suddenly, yes, this is that a man wheezes and heartbeat, is wheezing and heartbeat that I am familiar with, in addition, the breath of the green grass. I struggle no longer, let health to enter from he me. What a wonderful and feeling known well, my heart begins to beat furiously.   

Chapter 13 Hedgehog (5) that holds tightly   
The ice is blue, why do you become like this? What have I done? Let you turn into like this? 
I throw the small soldier's hands away, you let me punish, you have a meal as soon as possible. 
Mustn't tidy up. Play on chip in small soldier's a kick. 
I turn round to leave. 
Where will you go? 
Go out for a walk. 
Mustn't go. 
I stare at little soldier at one glance, continue leave. Think inhibiting each surround me, must walk out and free boundless only. 
The small soldier embraces me by the waist, I catch the door desperately, two people sprain and roll. 
You let me go out! I begin, shout, constrain for a long time roar furiously, wolf general, want, roar all hurt and wronged and gloomy to the limit. I can not come round to the idea forever, how happy we were originally, how turn into like this, how could turn into like this? 
The love was a kind of injury originally, the more lay in, the more deeply the injury is. We are all children of nervousness, sensitive, fragile, protect oneself in injuring others' course constantly. Little soldier and I, is the hedgehogs of two severe winters, need to get warm each other, hope to depend on very near, but pitch each other black and blue all over. 
I do not blame the small soldier, have never really blamed. We have the same soul, the same experience, we are an incomplete child, we are destined to injure others and be injured. 
Ask you, let me go out for a walk. I begin to beg crying. 
The small soldier is looking at me heart-brokenly. 
Walk in cold quiet street, tear silent to backfall, follow behind the whom I know small soldier does not in far. This person, I can not walk out forever. Sit I at the beginning it is here road along at cry bitterly. 
Carried by the small soldier and gone home, such a shoulder, had thought that would depend on all one's life by oneself, I shed tears on the young soldier's shoulder, a lot of tears, have flowed in along the small soldier's neck, do not know it will be cold. 
The little soldier is looking at I, childish and pure expression. Yes, the expression of the little soldier is the childish pureness, all of his indifference, is just the selfprotectionist means. 
Small soldier, know? You have snow look like the wolf, sometimes, getting pure a child of picture. Touch that face that likes deeply that I am familiar with gently. 
The small soldier has smiled, the ice is blue, we mustn't quarrel, don't quarrel. 
I nod in the weak place. This kind of weakness comes from and suddenly learns, I had our children. 
Tell light soldier whether come suddenly child hereto, I have a too much one joyful, just shock and flurried. 
When the doctor has verified all these, I am a burst of angina in the stomach. 
The doctor says, you have very weak body, consider it for a while, grow, otherwise influence the physique very much. 
I put the smile strongly, my darling does not know abroad whether to deal with and obtain by oneself, let's let me think it over, thank you, doctor. 
Toss about in bed for a lot of sleepless nights. 
Does the small soldier say, the ice is blue, do you have a worry? Are you angry? 
No. I am comforting the young soldier's head, don't be so sensitive, I am a little bored. 
The ice is blue, why is your face so pale? Bei Bei is said, do not you cross well? Has the small soldier treated you badly? You tell me, I give vent to anger for you. Or you move back. 
I shake the head weakly. 
Bei Bei, I have the little soldier's children, but I do not have psychological preparation, what shall I do tell? 
Does the small soldier know? 
I don't know, I do not want to let him know. 
The ice is blue, whether go wrong between you? 
No. I smile, very helpless. 
Don't deceive me, I know! I have said early, you are improper, you do not hear, come back. 
I shake the head. I can't leave the small soldier, you know, I love him, he is just like a child, he needs me, you see? However, the plan that I have not married and given birth to babies yet at the moment. 
The ice is blue, in fact you do not have tables in the heart, right? 
I remain silent. 
This can't be dragged, if you decide, I come with you. Does not just tell the small soldier's words, do you feel suitable? He is the child's father after all. 
Bei Bei, has asked you, you help me. I feel I looks like cold a helpless roam cat at night. 
Bei Bei support I, I trick ice-cold. 
Very affable doctor, but I am still afraid. 
A kind of ice-cold machine, cut it in your body, cut and go the life which belongs to the person that you and you love, what kind of grief is that, getting grieved. Nobody knows, how I am want this child. 
Remember the small soldier said to me, we wanted to grow a football team, you worked as a cheer-leader in the past, I work as a coach. 
Lie on the white operation bed, the heart gives birth to sad and drearily, we are so in love, there are children that any reason abandons us. But, what kind of day will be it and then? 
There is no courage to face, to life, I have lost confidence gradually. 
The ice is blue, what about later? Bei Bei afford to afraid. 
Don't tell the small soldier, OK? Let me go to your place to live for two days, you phone young soldier, tell him that you feel blue, let me accompany you for two days, let him rest assured. 
Bei Bei look at I, brow lock closely, ice blue, why is destiny so, how make, compensate you I? 
Bei Bei, what is talked about, you? 
The ice is blue, the small soldier is not a bad person, but he is not fit for you. There are many good men in the world in this, why do you take things too hard? You are not the Saviour, the young soldier is not what you can save, think for oneself, OK?   

Chapter 13 Hedgehog (3) that holds tightly   
Why do you say she is? I am strange, one or two days in this way, why turn into individual, actually I sent and trembled with fear in the heart, it is cold to going at heart now. Please speak, the meal does not want me to make either, the clothes do not want me to wash either, it is willing to to buy titbits to buy the clothes to wear for me yet, there is no thing to exchange a few words of greetings drawing me all day, ask when I will get married. Strange, a period of time can not still see me ago, break in front of the small soldier off with the fingers and thumb all day, say I pieces of material of virtuous wife and good mother? 
Hen, change, must ask to some extent to some extent, I believe that what change, eat what it will be those, as man, forever with lay half-length to think question, the man is kind to the woman just, only different, either the color, or the money. The woman will not want your color, the one left is the money. Old brother, you think about it, whether some handles have been put down in the others' hand. 
My heart has been amazed by immediately, the internal heat is fled up straight. So this old lady has turned over my drawer, I have a drawer locked, the small soldier has never read, there is father's letter given to me inside, in addition, my bankbook. 
I constrain all fire for the moment, see who can't help first. 
Even personal secrets at least are not respected, I do not know whether such life still can go on, and I, want to look for for an appropriate time and have a talk with small soldier. 
At last one day, the little soldier asks me, mother says you have 400,000 deposit, true? 
I am looking at he, the head of calm place. 
He is looking at me calmly too, why, why do not you tell me at all times? 
I feel still unnecessary. 
What is necessary, when is necessary? What do you have to hide from me? We have already lived, we even talk about the marriage, but, you have such a big things to hide from me. 
Small soldier, I do not think the money is mine, I have never thought of moving them too. I hope father can come out from the prison one day, the money is his, as to everything that he pays, money the insignificant, in father being day not giving birth to, first of me can not even move, it is unnecessary to tell others. 
Am I someone else? Am I only others in your eyes? Do you think I spend your money? 
No. I neither it is known how want to explain to explain, nor. Small soldier, should people have some personal secrets? I do not think about it in some things, does not want to carry, you don't be so cruel? 
Am I cruel? Am I cruel or are you cruel? 
I do not want to say, you let me go out for a walk. 
Forbid. 
I turn round to walk toward outside, the small soldier has dashed. 
You do not say clearly today that does not want to go out of this door. 
What do you want me to say? I who should say have said, this sum of money is this sum of money, our emotion is our emotion, they do not matter. 
You are suspecting me. 
The ten years hedgehog small pawn that S h i n i a nS H I N I A N held tightly, you should not be so sensitive. 
The small soldier's eyes are ruddy. I begin to feel frightened. 
I open the door, the little soldier catches my arms, exert all one's effort and get rid of inwards. I scream like being crazy. 
The old lady comes up to draw the shelf hypocritically, but is catching me, make me unable to resist, two people push down me. I begin to shed tears. 
Small soldier, you will regret, you will regret! I shout. 
I have already regretted now. 
Small soldier, ask her this money is from somewhere? The old lady Chuan picks up. 
You shut up! I shout towards her. 
Frightened that the old lady assumes, unexpectedly grow and grow and shed tears in this way. 
Apologize with the mother! The fierce Palestinian bar of small pawn is watched to me. 
I am keeping watch on him unbendingly, I can not go wrong! 
Pa. Drop and grow a slap on the face grown on the face fragily. Small soldier touches it with me for the first time, very painful, so painful that the heart get. 
Small soldier, speak rationally, why hit the person. The old lady says falsely, what I can see in her bottom of heart titters. 
Seal face, I rush into bathroom, shut clothing pour under faucet of bathroom, let ice-cold water dash at head of me, there is not a bit feeling, in the heart, there is a place in the heart, begin to become hard and ice-cold, love I dream of, it seem go from me far step by step. In this way, in the soaking of the cold water, I faint. 
While waking up, the small soldier sits in front of the bed, caught my hands tightly, I heard him talking again and again, blue, I am sorry, I am sorry. I am unwilling to wake up, unwilling to wake up. See me open eyes, the small soldier will bring in the red syrup of a bowl of gingers at once, will stand there, look like pieces of child that do the wrong thing, I speak, face until want, watch he. 
Blue, let's drink some. Ask you, don't spoil oneself later. He puts my hands to one's own front, I ache here, very painful. 
My tears have fallen down. 
Small soldier, do you know? Here aches even more. I am sealing the chest, am still burning on the face burningly. 
Blue, you drink, have drunk. 
I throw the medicine bowl, you roll, you roll! I don't see you again. A place of candy rivers, black and red, like the blood dropping down in the bottom of heart. 
Blue, I am sorry, I did not mean it, not really. All these have become conditioned reflex, a lot of people bullied mother as a child, I have already been used to taking shape, if who speak and does not tame, I will protect my mother like a leopard, only in this way, I can only so make sure, blue, you see? 
I have cried, say in the heart quietly. Small soldier, do you know? I have not injured your mother, but you injure me like this, in your heart, what I can be regarded as again?   

Chapter 13 Hedgehog (1) that holds tightly   
The love was a kind of injury originally, the more lay in, the more deeply the injury is. We are all children of nervousness, sensitive, fragile, protect oneself in injuring others' course constantly. Little soldier and I, is the hedgehogs of two severe winters, need to get warm each other, hope to depend on very near, but pitch each other black and blue all over. 
I do not blame the small soldier, have never really blamed. We have the same soul, the same experience, we are an incomplete child, we are destined to injure others and be injured. 
A period of calm days, the small soldier still looks after me very much, there is steaming hot breakfast that is eaten every day, needn't touch by oneself coolly and wash the clothes forever, sometimes I think, oneself is actually very happy. 
The water-melon, please resign, I do not want to see you are so tired, I can't go to meet you to come off duty every day now, the company is so far, my salary is enough to deal with our life, please look for a a bit more relaxed job nearby. 
I nod. Do not want to have too many disagreements and suspect, perhaps this is the best method. In fact my economy is not short of money, only the interest of the bank can let me live a good life, tell little soldier me have a large sum of deposit, know why, I perhaps originally but one is good at the selfprotectionist person very much, perhaps, I am fearing anything. I know little soldier begin, check I conversation of Mobile record, he has too many sense of insecurity secretly, it is a too easy person threatened. 
Pig's head, lie in bed, I ask him, tell me your father, do you look like with him? 
Is there anything easy to speak? The small soldier suddenly became very overbearing and dry, had died! 
Do I find, in the face of the small soldier, I begin to become uneasy, is this or that ice that it is afraid afraiding blue? 
Small ice feel forgetting oneself one's own suddenly, turn body, hold I say past thing did not want to mention any more. Mother will see us on day to pass a bit. Mother is a very good and very well-behaved person, she is sure to like you. 
I smile, bury head in it in the small soldier's chest. In fact I am who longs for marriage life, but why I fear the marriage of mentioning again, Bei Bei say I whether piece lack people of sense of safety very much, perhaps she is right, realistic life let me lost confidence in marriage too early. If you do not like, be injured. 
I do not know the little soldier and what kind of connections there are between his father, but I hope to have one day wholeheartedly, he can treat everything calmly and tolerantly. 
The little soldier's mother is a very strong woman, speak loudly, taciturn, there are many expressions either, feel that obtains the bearing patiently of heart. 
She does the dish that the young soldier likes eating, insert for him to eat smilingly, the appearance met very much. Small soldier insert dish bowl to get me always, I see from me little soldier mother blame malicious sight in the light. Feel chilly from the bottom of heart. 
Yes, the little soldier's mother is one such people, she is well extraordinary to me in front of young soldier, a solemn kindly mother-in-law treats the daughter-in-law who will move into one's husband's household upon marriage, but is carrying the small soldier, it is another matter. 
For not allowing the little soldier's mother to have any prejudice to me, I begin to cook and do washing to sweep the room, little soldier mother afford to forgive still, on the bad luck of the whole face, throw out the things without care everywhere. 
I begin, regret oneself does not work, take all day in the face of such a woman. 
Work really hard now, it is difficult to support the family. The hands that the little army's mother is drawing me smilingly say, I send trembling with fear from the bottom of heart. 
Ah, see how delicate this small hand is, it does not work to see, this is very not all right. Do soldier the since childhood nothings we,must you hard. Besides, it is rather busy that he works all day. 
Eh eh, auntie, I know, this of mine is not making great efforts to be close to your requirement. 
Then I become little wife that bully all day, go to the market to buy vegetables with mother-in-law, heavy to wrap up light to wrap up, press to my body, think about I ice blue evil spirit have, when was such treatment enjoyed? Let it be, bear, lack of forbearance in small matters upsets great plans. 
You have a look, present girl, what is all worn, do not keep woman one. Little soldier mother wash roadside in tank top woman give directions, frighten I pack up all crooked ways of garments go home, I'm afraid a carelessness is criticized for keeping woman one. 
Everything will be made at the request of little army's mother, will wipe the desk to begin from the left, washing the rice should use the small bowl, the small soldier goes out no matter how tired I must must be woken up by the sound of the table tennis in the morning, then see a face drawn longer than any other things. 
Auntie, I want, write manuscript get, late, can let me sleep for a moment more very every night? 
What, mum of he, say, turn round to continue the table tennis, I only come to a supercilious look. 
When single we two are at home, the little army's mother is food frozen in the refrigerator, though it is I go it buy,it seem spend he the bank notes of son all,should take he son, I can only feed on fancies. 
Having joined the telephone and become a major issue too, no matter men and women should have one to notify, who made the telephone, what is done, what's the matter, have said something, have said how long, small soldiers all know in the evening. The little army's mother, just like a spy, no matter I have her shade to everywhere, holding up a piece of ears at any time like the detective film, assert I am a bad woman, make me nervous, does not dare to speak more on even telephone of Bei Bei. 
The life when so camps step by step meticulously really makes us tense. 
Pig's head, I do not think your mother like me. 
How? See how kind to you she is, what what you like eating she does to give, even bowl does not allow you to wash.   

The thought is a commanding officer in your life

      There is a  Handmade Bracelets| Imitation Jewelry| Wholesale Picture Frames kind of thing, run more quickly than the velocity of light, can pass through the Galaxy in the twinkling of an eye, reach the remote place ...

      There is a kind of thing, run more slowly than the tortoise, when the spring flower is in full bloom, it still stays in winter; When the hair is white, it is still a child's look ...

      Do not advance and die either without going backwards, not born either, float by fixed position in one all the time ...

      These three kinds are all "  The thought " Behavior,it change come pieces of angle because it watch, can also liken as by three life.

      The first kind  Beaded Bracelets| Butterfly Brooches| Unique Handcrafted Jewelry| Heart Necklace is the life struggling actively: As a person is endeavoring to gain the upper hand constantly, to the promising confidence forever of tomorrow, this kind of people's soul is not limited by space-time, he can be compared to an arrow arrow penetrating, the velocity of light that will be overladen one day in the future, control it on everything.

      The second kind is lazy life: In the back of he lands on others' buttocks forever, pick up the thing that others abandoned, this kind of people will certainly be forgotten.

      The Handmade Earrings| Handmade Jewelry| Beaded Necklaces| Hair Brush third kind is befuddled life: When a person gives up hard, lives in a fool's paradise, his destiny is icy, agony that being unhappy, he does not matter either; This is a person who is destined to be grieved, float in the sea floor like the empty shell of the jellyfish, not on the real world, not in dreamland either ...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

      The thought is deciding a person's behavior, the thought is deciding a person's life. The person with the positive thought, life will become vivid and dramatic; The person with the passive thought, life will become Handbag Manufacturer| Leather Handbag| Leather Handbag Manufacturer| Fashion Handbag Manufacturer| Pet Carrier Leather handbags unglazed silently.

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